Him

Okay so I dont want to just start to right about random stuff about falling and love and crap. i mean konestly, can I trust this guy. but I can truley feels nice to get back to the dating game, not that its a real one of anything, but I mean We are going to see a movie. In a dark place. MAybe in the back. With just the two of us. Thats gott count for something. I want to write his name, but what if this whole "date" is just a one time deal. I dont want to get too far into it. I mean its just two friends hanging on a friday night. But I mean come one, two friends dont hug each other at the waist like that. And I felt super short like really. I'm not used to that. I don't know if it's a good I dea. But it should be fun, I hope.

Oh... but what if he starts to get touchy. My gosh I dont think i'm ready for all that. I mean a kiss goodnight isnt bad or anything but like on the ckeek. but thats all I can handle. I'm not ready for a boyrfriend yet and I really just want to wait till college for one. But I guess hanging out with him for awhile can make this senior year a little bit more exciting. Awwhh I hope tomorrow will be fun! <3 xoxo gossip girl

Betches I Swear

Okay maybe my last post was a little harsh, but come one honestly I'm tired of fake high school bitches who think they are better than everyone. And maybe I'm slightly hypocritical but come one that is just me.

Okay scratch that harsh part. Bitches all of them! I am sick and tired of fucking May, I mean her presence is slowely elevating An status in our used to be group. I really dont like this one bit. When will this terror end. Well I do have a date tomorrow sooo... I guess that kinda makes up for it. I really can't wait for it. I mean just thinking of the hug...bahh I'll talk about it in another post. xoxo gossip girl

Fake Betches

You know what I am tired of? These fake bitches. All of them and most of them are girls. I mean such fake bitches. What happened to being the best of friends. I guess I am just out of the loop. Maybe I'm just not a part of their group anymore. The group that orignally wasnt theirs!! I mean what tis he point of making plans in my face and then not inviting me I swear. FAKE FAKE FAKE! Gawd I cannot wait to be done with them. I mean really. They suck so much. The best part of this blog is that I can talk shit about them and no one will find me. Anyways lets start with Paige. This super emo bitch thinks she is all that when really no cares. I mean I came to her in my time of need hoping that we'll grow close as friends and what does she do instead, she freakin acts likea bitch to me and doesnt invite me to shit. I mean no one cares about going. And she thinks she is all that when it comes to hair and makeup and clothes and eyebrows when really, she's just another basic bitch. Gawd so freakin annoying and she doesn't eat meat. This fuckin hipster doesn't do it because she wants to save animals, but because she wants the title. And she's rude and doesn't say sorry for shit, but expects sorrys from everyone else. So you know what? I do think she's slightly autistic so ha. Gosh that feel so good to finally get out. Fuckin hoe. Next up is May. She has a childlike body. I mean its hard to describe why I am mad at her. I dont know wahat it she is just fustrating me. Anyone who is freinds with my enemies just pisses me off. Oh and Paige has a huge nose too. hmmph. Finally there's Jacob. Just a straight up ASS. And you know this pimpled-face dick face just pisses me off. I want to shave his fuckin head and feed it to him. He will never amount to nothingi f he continures to be a jackass. He's not  even cute anyways and the only reason I liked him for a fraction of a sceond was because it was rebound after I broke up with my ex-bae. The usual. But I am glad those dog days are over. I swear I mean Paul usually just pisses me off but right now these three are just getting on my last nerve. When you are so high up on the social ladder that looking down at others just feels pretty stupid. GAWD JUST FAKE FAKE FAKE BITCHES. xoxo gossip girl

Finally Dammit!

Guess what guys, Paul apologized, and you know what it wasnt a simple apology, it was a sincere one that actually mattered. One that seemed as if he was trying his best to make things right. It was one that made this whole almost 2 weeks of not talking to him worth it. And it worked, I mean the fact that he and An are going to prom together still is a bit frustrating, but I am slwely but surely getting over it. I mean I guess that means its going to be a lonely prom for me, but that fine, with the kind of luck I've been getting these past four years of high school, I guess it's not surprising that I dont have a date for prom. Gawd I feel so alive now that I can move past this whole situation. I dont have to name him asshole and more. Now I can just call him "Jerk" for now. Well iguess that means things can go back to normal sorta, with the addition of An.

Sadness For What?

This is kinda confusing, Its like sadness coming from inside enraging because I am slowely drifting away from a world that I do no know anymore. While very inside of it seems to be connected and know how to let go of the drama that happens on the inside of it, for some reason it isnt that easy for me. I said I was a crazy psycho bitch but that doesnt mean it is a good thing. In fact it kinda of sucks. But slowely I am realize I dont want be part of that kind of world anymore. I want to turn onto a new leaf one that is happier and one that i've always wanted to be. I cant do that if I am surrounded by people who are so unreasonaly harsh to me and maybe in all reality maybe they are just joking around but i've told them many times that I...you know what forget it xoxo gossip girl

Guess Who's Back?

That's right, its An. She's back in our classroom and its kind of irritating me. I mean I have nothing against her but seriously, can you and Paul just kiss and make-out so that I can die already. I supposed I'm getting over it, but not really. I couldnt care less when they talk or anyone talks about them. I just kinda blur them out and act like they dont exist. I'm definetly better than I was that day, April 17.I told my self I'll wait two weeks before I talk to Paul and today would make week one. He seems to be doing okay which is good I guess but I wonder what his life is like without me. Anyways Claire told me she saw them getting out of the same car one day. Eww, i know. But I mean like why do I care so much. Oh yeah I know why - I'm a psycho-bitch.

I have to go see my psychiatrist after school today. I wonder if I'll tell her about my overdose. I really dont want to because I know she'll just rat me out to my mother. Crazy I know. I'm 18 so I think she should just respect my wishes. *sigh* kill me. Life is getting harder each and everyday. What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you. I love that line of that song.

It's quite strange, friends, I mean if you guys are alll friends an done friend gets mad at another or hates them now, do you expect a whole group of friends to shun one preson for the others sake. And if so, who do you pick? I suppose it wouldnt be fair to ask you rgroup of friends to do that, but still you would expect them to be supportive and if theyre not then well, you drop them, sorta. And I think I'm going to do that. They don't deserve my love, so I wont give it to them. End of story. xoxo gossip girl

Spotted: Little ole Paul without his An

An doesnt seem to be in our class today. It kinda helps that she isnt her. Not that i have anything against her, its just it hurts to see her face. I wonder if this whole situation could be worse if she was actually really pretty. That would probably screw me over for good. Well I guess there is one good thing out of that. I wonder how I am surving this far. In our last class, my friend of mine, Claire, told me about the recent relationship and prom date status. Its been quite shocking to here the latest update. Apparently the people we least expect to have a date, actually have a date. I mean the one guy that everyone thinks is disgusting actially has a girlfriend. Like really? I dont even have a boyfriend and HE has a bae?! I mean freaking Jacob has 3 dates to prom! I can't even get 1 or even half of 1. I mean some of the hottest guys in our grade dont have dates. Well then I guess i should've seen this coming. It's not surprising that Paul and An have each other. I guess I'm just not that low on the social ladder. I'm too high on it to even have a date. LOL OK. I kinda want to take someone from another school, but I don't want him to show up and be all lonely and then cling to me on night since he doesn't know anyone else. *sigh* These first world problems are crazy. Oh well Paul, I hope you have fun. xoxo gossip girl